the fucking abyss

I was pondering my life then I thought fuck pondering let's get to doing so that what I did and with that action I've been over the past 6 months changing and that change is bringing growing pains. Those pains have been shedding habits that are not a benefit and coming to grips if I want to make more of a leap for my self progress I'll have to shed people I care about and that shit hurts. 

Here I am seeking a better me and to be around organized, well anything organized because its far better then the choas that takes place when something is all over the place or people have no self discipline. It's just getting to me that I've become depressed. Fuck that shit though I don't care about those feelings because they don't do shit for me. I guess I'm just at a place when it's time to rip off this bandaid because this comfy comfy covering of my wound when it needs air is just fucking me up keeping it hidden away. I don't give a fuck who thinks I'm crazy or say wtf is he doing. I'm not going to be stuck being mediocre or wait for things to change. I'm the change and im going to be that change! 

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